Calling bullish*t

Sorry for that. I don't normally use profanities in my article titles, especially during weeks when my posting schedule is totally jacked and I'll be lucky if this is all I get up on the blog. But, sometimes, that's just how life rolls.

It was just the 10-year anniversary (!!!) of the series finale of Friends, and not so coincidentally I'm seeing Jennifer Aniston's face splashed all around promoting her "Living Proof" line of hair care products.

The Rachel. Aniston famously lamented how much she hated that haircut, once it defined both the character and the actress. So is it ironic that she once again (or still?) is using her hair to help along her career?

According to the full-page spread in my latest Ulta flyer, Aniston is the co-owner of Living Proof, which, according to its own website, was started in 2004 when some biotech guys met up with some venture capital guys and came up with a new concept to fill what they perceived to be a void in the haircare market. She's also the face of what they call the "Perfect Hair Day Campaign."

Some verbiage from their "Philosophy" (fancy name for 'mission statement'):

"We are not a traditional beauty company.We are more than that.We believe in rethinking conventional wisdom.We believe when you can’t find something that works, you invent it.We believe the answers are found in science.We believe that beauty and brains are the best formula.We believe a product should keep its promises.We believe every day can be a good hair day.We believe beauty is more than skin deep.We believe in day-making, bliss-creating, confidence-boosting results.We believe you are the living proof."

Did you also throw up in your mouth a little? Here's my version:

"We believe in making money.
We are business people first.
We will market the sh*t out of our products until you believe you can't live without them.
We will sell you the promise of having all the self-confidence you crave -- for only $25 a bottle (and your hair will probably still never look as good as Jen's)."

I'm a crusty beeyotch, I know. But this whole thing really gets me. First, this sh*t's going to a pretty specific demographic. I feel like Living Proof is trying to tap the very same fan base that gave Friends such high ratings back in the day. If you wanted to be just like Rachel back in the 90s, maybe you still want to be just like Aniston now? Because you're older, smarter and have more cash lying around...to spend on shampoo? Oh right, I forgot, you deserve to have your products live up to their promises. Because you're so middle-aged and life is too short to have to use inferior shampoo.

Do you see where I'm headed here? Jennifer Aniston is probably the single WORST person to promote a hair care line. Because none of US -- regular, real-life people -- will ever, ever have the same resources that she employs to maintain her beauty. It's an unattainable standard.

And you know what? That's OK. It's ok to NOT have celebrity-level hair/makeup/fashion/whatever. It's ok to NOT need to be camera-ready at all times of day. It's ok to look like you. It's actually more than ok. It's freakin' awesome.

(BTW, I haven't gotten to the part where this Living Proof stuff is chock full of chemicals. I think I'll save that for a follow-up post.)

Yours,
Jazzy